


The Sacrifice

by casistooadorableandithurts



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU!Michael - Freeform, Coda, Episode: s14e09 The Spear, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Team Free Will 2.0, Ultimate Sacrifice, coda but not really as I wrote it before the episode, dean and cas are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 20:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17066198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casistooadorableandithurts/pseuds/casistooadorableandithurts
Summary: He should have known.As Dean watches his family being hurt by his own hands, he blames himself for having been stupid enough to believe Michael would just let him go.





	The Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm finally back with another fic, and I'm hoping it won't be another year before the next one. I wrote this before 14.09 aired, which is why the Spear is still intact, but this could still be considered canon divergent from the moment Michael takes back control from Dean. 
> 
> Thank you so much to Katha and Courtney for reading this over for me (and I'm sorry for making you cry) (well sorry not sorry).
> 
> I hope you enjoy! xx

He should have known. 

As Dean watches his family being hurt by his own hands, he blames himself for having been stupid enough to believe Michael would just let him go. 

Dean stares at Cas’s bloody face, as if he were under water, and regretfully thinks about the fact that he missed out on yet another chance to tell him how he really feels. It’s too late for that now, but Dean realises he’s given himself away, more than he already had the first time the archangel possessed him: Michael must know what Dean is thinking about, what he’s feeling, because he stops fighting and with a quick, gentle swipe of his hand flings his family into the walls, and slowly turns to stare at Cas’s broken form on the floor. 

Before Michael even opens his mouth to speak, Dean knows whatever he is going to say will hurt, so he sends a prayer to Cas, hoping he can still hear it. Dean prays and prays to Cas, telling him he’s sorry for everything, for saying yes to Michael, for not being as honest as he should, and for putting their family into a situation he is sure they won’t get out of alive. 

What he’s expecting from Michael is taunting, something that will hurt Cas despite being a lie fabricated by the archangel and tailored perfectly to hit Cas where it hurts the most. What he gets instead is something that makes his heart jump into his throat and a panic like he’s rarely ever known build into what is now his empty chest.

“Castiel.”

The single word comes out as a sneer, and Dean strains as much as he can against the invisible wall in his mind to stop Michael, save his family the pain, anything he can do to get Michael away from them. As he’s screaming the angel’s name, Michael comes up to Cas and kneels in front of him, staring down at his bloody face in a way that only makes Cas’s glare more threatening, his stony face betraying nothing even to the person who knows him best. 

“I’ve heard congratulations are in order.” The words mean nothing to Dean, and he’s so surprised he briefly stop fighting against Michael, taking in the way something in Cas’s eyes hardens even more, as well as, more surprisingly, the unexpected flash of panic that makes his heart stop despite not knowing the reason for it. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Cas is deflecting, but Dean knows him, knows immediately Cas is hiding something, so he forces himself to resume fighting against Michael, despite wanting to know what is wrong with Cas, just to stop Michael from revealing whatever Cas’s secret is without the angel’s consent, and hoping against hope that he will one day get the chance to talk to Cas about it in a non life-threatening situation. 

Michael has moved again, and he’s nearly eye to eye with Cas now, probably holding him still just in case, despite the fact that the Spear was tossed somewhere far away enough from them that Dean can’t see it around them, and Cas’s blade is useless against him. The air feels frozen, and as if from under water he can hear Sam and Jack shouting at Michael, trying to distract him from Cas, and the terror Jack still isn’t good at hiding is clear in his voice. 

Michael takes Cas’s jaw in his hand, brusquely, and Dean irrationally finds himself thinking about how he would have held Cas’s face in his hands in a completely different way, if he’d ever had the chance to do so when the angel wasn’t dead or on the brink of death. 

“Your sacrifice to save Jack and Heaven from the Empty was noble, I must admit.” Dean’s brain comes to a complete halt. Whatever resolve he had dies, and he loses the fight against the barrier in his mind, frozen in time as he can only listen to Michael’s words while terror takes over him. 

“It is obviously a sacrifice any father would do for his son.”

No. This can’t be happening. No strings attached. As Dean’s mind slowly connects the dots, Dean stupidly thinks back to that morning, talking to Cas as the Impala sailed down mostly empty streets, and how much relief he’d felt in being able to call Jack’s resurrection a “no strings attached deal”. He’d been an idiot. How had he possibly believed someone coming back from the dead could have no consequences, when it had always made whatever situation they’d been in so much worse? 

(Except for Cas. Cas was his big win. Cas had come back to him and they’d been, albeit briefly, happy. But now.)

“I guess you trust the fact that you will never be truly, fully happy to keep you alive, don’t you, Castiel?”

Michael’s words sound triumphant, as if he’s found the key to destroy this family in a quick, painless way (at least for him). And, as he tries to make sense of the words the archangel has just said, Dean thinks Michael may be right. 

As Jack pleads for Michael to leave Cas alone, it is clear the kid is on the brink of tears now, but all Dean can think of is if Jack knew, if Jack kept the secret for Cas, and if he’s learned to keep life-threatening secrets from his family, then he truly must be a Winchester now. Like Cas. Like Cas, his angel, the one person he trusts as much as Sam and who he thought would not be keeping secrets like this anymore. The angel with a death sentence hanging over his head, again, as if it hadn’t been less than a couple of years since the last one. (As if Cas hadn’t had death sentences following him around from the moment he met them. The moment he met Dean.)  
(As if the last one hadn’t been the one that did, eventually, kill him. The one that destroyed Dean so much he attempted to follow Cas to the place where he knows now they would have been together, if Billie had followed through with her threats.)

“So, if I kill you now, do you die or survive because you aren’t happy? I guess it’s time to find out, Castiel.” 

As an angel blade drops into Michael’s hand, as Michael raises his hand for the kill, Dean’s scream rings out in his brain, and in the next moment Dean finds himself staring down at Cas, not through Michael’s eyes but his own, from too close rather than too far away, and as the blade slips from his fingers he drops to his knees.  
Michael is screaming in his mind, and Dean knows he won’t be able to hold him back long, so he croaks out the angel’s name and grabs his face. Cas tries to pull away, but the way Dean whispers his name again makes it clear who’s holding the reins of Dean’s body. 

“Dean…” The angel’s voice holds only a slight tone of relief, as sorrow takes over, and his eyes shine with what Dean refuses to believe are tears. 

“You idiot!” Dean knows he shouldn’t scream, knows his control over Michael is temporary and he should tell Cas to do what they came here for, but the anguish he’s feeling is hard to tamp down. 

“How could you?” Cas is trying to say something, probably an apology, but Dean doesn’t want to hear it. “I thought you wouldn’t lie to me about this shit anymore, Cas, why would you do it? Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Dean’s voice breaks, and he feels Sam’s hand on his shoulder, finally free from the archangel’s hold, trying to stop him from shaking Cas as hard as he is. 

“Dean…” It’s his brother’s voice now, and Dean is crying now, and Jack is on his other side reaching out to Cas. 

“The Empty won’t come until Cas is truly happy, he’s not going anywhere yet.” Jack, his voice small, so much more childlike than usual, yet so fitting for someone who is only a year and a half old. 

Dean’s ears are ringing, and neither his brother’s pleas or Jack’s attempts at consoling him are any use. He has to focus. He feels like he’s underwater again, drowning, not enough air reaching his brain or his lungs, not Michael this time but overwhelming, unrestrained panic, and he has to focus on his brother’s steady hand on his shoulder and Cas’s head, bowed down, unable to look him in the eye to focus on the situation they’re in right now. Michael. They need to stop Michael. Then they’ll deal with the Empty. They’ll stop it, save Cas, and finally go to the beach. Finally get their happy ending. 

“Kill me,” is what comes out instead. 

Sam and Jack’s voices rise, confusedly, and Dean can’t make out anything they’re saying. Cas is looking at him now, and his eyes are the only thing Dean can focus on. 

“Kill me.” Dean repeats, and he sees the moment Cas understands what he’s asking. Understanding and pain and regret and love, so much love, shine in Cas’s eyes now, and Dean grabs onto Cas’s arms, having to hold onto something, to feel something solid and remind himself Cas isn’t dead yet and Dean needs to focus on not letting Michael take over. 

“Cas, please.”

(A diner – ages ago – another request, another promise, same request, same promise – “you got to take me out”)

Dean sees the moment Cas makes his decision, resolve and heartbreak clouding his expression, and breathes a sigh of relief as he returns his undivided attention to holding Michael down. He can’t make sense of what his brother and Jack are screaming at him, screaming at Cas, pulling at his arms as they try to stop what they also now know is going to happen.

“Cas, please, there has to be another way, please!” Sam is in tears now, Dean would recognise his brother’s broken voice everywhere, but he refuses to look at Sam, Sammy, his own child in some dark, twisted way that shouldn’t have been, shouldn’t have been a responsibility carried by his young shoulders, but not one he regrets, not when Sam turned out to be the man he is today, one he made a deal for…

(What Cas did for Jack, Dean understands too well.)

Cas is standing in front of him, now, spear in hand, and Dean forces himself to stand up, come face to face with the man, angel, whatever is in between, he loves for the last time. For what he is going to make sure is the last time. Cas is searching his face – looking into his soul, Dean thinks – as if trying to commit it to memory, to always remember every detail of the man he also loves (if Dean hadn’t known before, the way Cas is looking at him now makes him certain). 

Michael is making his last, desperate attempts to stop this from happening, to regain control from Dean, but Dean’s resolved now to put an end to this, finds his strength in Cas’s love, in the desperation of his family, knowing he has to do it to save them, once more. 

“Cas.”

One word, and Sam and Jack fall silent. He finally sees them as they move to stand by Cas’s side, tears rolling down both of their faces and now glistening down Cas’s cheeks, too. 

“I love you,” Dean says, “I love all of you.” (a barn – black goo – Cas’s blood)

It’s not enough. 

Lifting his arms takes enormous strength, but Dean takes Cas’s face in his hands, pulls him closer. 

“I love you,” he whispers into Cas’s mouth, feeling the angel’s tears mixing up with his own now that their faces are so close, “I love you.” 

Dean presses his lips to Cas. A goodbye, rather than a kiss. 

“I love you.” An apology this time, one he’s certain Cas is able to understand despite being too close to look into each other’s eyes. 

“I know.” Two words, and Dean’s heart breaks for the last time, never more in love with the angel, as he pulls away from Cas, steels himself, steps back. He hears, as though Cas can’t stop himself, “I love you.”  


Dean breathes. 

“Take care of them.” He tells his angel, then - because it’s his last words - once more: “I love you”.

As Cas stabs him through the heart with the Spear, Dean drops to his knees, bright, white light exploding in front of his eyes. 

(How poetic, how ironic that the relationship between Dean and Cas would start and end with them stabbing each other in the heart)

The last thing Dean sees as he dies is Cas falling in front of him, any semblance of calm disappearing, dropping the Spear and grabbing hold of Dean’s body, as a loud, heart-wrenching wail fills the warehouse.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for this.  
> Billie warned Dean she would see him soon though, so I'm still convinced something similar will happen at some point.  
> I might write a coda to this coda where Dean comes back just because this hurts and I always want them to get their happy ending, but for now it's all pain!  
> Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments always make my day so much better :D  
> Sara x


End file.
